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The church has become redundant

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I saw this cartoon by naked pastor in March right at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown and I wondered if Pastor Don might actually be me by the end of the lockdown. Now I didn’t imagine we wouldn’t meet as a congregation for 38 weeks and that I’d only be there for 3 before finishing up in my role as pastor, but hey that’s what happened.  My role being made redundant has forced me to confront the questions and challenges in my head, face on and question what is next for me in terms of church, worship, ministry and a place of belonging.  It’s no secret that I struggle with a Sunday liturgy, the motions and rules and rhythm of worship, do not interest me, I find it hard to see God in those words and would much rather be at morning tea talking over life and theology with the community.  The COVID-19 pandemic has forced us as a society to reconsider many things, and I wonder if we have done enough thinking or if when we were/are able if we have snuck back to our old ways, just
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Post traumatic church syndrome

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 I’ve just finished reading ‘Post Traumatic Church Syndrome’ by Reba Riley and I found this book really life giving and validating for my faith experience.  You see, over the last few years I’ve been wrestling with the deconstruction of my faith which was so tightly held in my teens and also wrestling with the sense of call to ministry which I feel so strongly, even when it feels like I am so anti church.  Reading this book helped me to have words for my experience over the last few years and in an interview I did for radio recently, I found words to articulate the wrestle I’ve had. I don’t identify as a Christian, not because I don’t believe those things but because that label has been used to do a lot of damage. I am a person of faith. Faith in a God who loves unconditionally, faith in an institution that continues to seek new ways to love and express this good news. Faith in there being Hope, in the life and witness of Jesus and in the institution of the church and hope it will cont
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200 days of pandemic life

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 It's been 200 days since restrictions came into place for the Covid19 Pandemic and i've been in various lockdown restrictions. I've been in a mood  for about a week now. I want to be really clear straight up, I think the restrictions are completely necessary and I am grateful that I have been kept safe and healthy from what is a very contagious virus and im thankful that by these restrictions i've been able to keep vulnerable people around me safe.  The thing is, i've just had enough. In Melbourne, things really suck and it's still a while until things are going to get better. We have done an amazing job going from 700 cases a day to 14 a day. But its been a long 6 months. And with new clusters and little outbreaks around the place, its still long from over.  Its been a long time of being alone, of not seeing friends or family, its been a long time of not being able to do things such as shopping or exercising the way you are used to. A long time of checking you
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Wear it Purple - My call to acceptance and inclusion

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At around 25 years old, I entered a stage in life which was sort of like a quarter life crisis. I had left my ministry job in a place I loved and was feeling unsure where I was going next. I was having an identity crisis. Who was I? what was I called to and who was calling me? I searched for answers to these questions for the next few years, finding fulfilment in other ministry roles, working through being deferred from candidating for ministry, in friendships and relationships and searching for meaning in church theology, governance and polity. I blogged my confusion of identity reflecting on the popular song, ‘This Is Me’ from the movie; The Greatest Showman, explaining, “ I found myself nose-deep in books about theology and found myself for the first time actually researching and reading in an attempt to understand what I was thinking.  I have found myself stripping back my commitments in hope of finding where my passions beat most strongly.  I have left communities and friendship g
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Pilgrimage in Atelier Des Lumières

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When I was in Paris earlier this year, I had the opportunity to visit ‘ Atelier Des Lumières’ , the workshop of light. It was a warehouse with a digital art show, using light and projection on the reflection of mirrors, walls and water to create images. Displaying the works of Van Gogh; Starry Night as well as other displays titled Dreamed Japan, and Verse.   I am not normally one to be overwhelmed by art, I see it and appreciate the need for it but it doesn’t often speak to me.   However when I sat and watched this display for an hour in Paris I was moved to tears. The paintings of Van Gogh, flowers, irises, sunflowers, wheat fields, portraits of people, and starry night moved slowly across the walls bouncing off different features of the warehouse and I sat and cried. I had become immersed into the paintings, the colours speaking to my soul. The Japanese art began and I still found myself lost in the pictures. Cherry blossoms grew up the wall and then were blown with the wind;
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How do you sum up an experience like Taizé?

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In July this year I travelled to  Taizé  in France with a group of people (my friends) from South Australia.  Taizé   is a community in countryside France which is home to over 100 brothers who live communally in worship, service and life. Every week from all over the wold pilgrims travel to be part of the community, predominately this community of people who are welcomed are young adults. There is something special about living simply, in community and accepting the hospitality of these brothers in search for something deeper and meaningful. I wrote a collection of reflections on my trip for assessment in a guided study.  The trip was truly a life shaping trip for me.  This week has been a different experience. There have been moments of profoundness, in conversations, reflections, songs and silence. And there have also been many frustrating moments, times where I have wished I was more honest with myself, moments I wished was different and times where I wanted God to speak but
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Why are you still here?

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I've found myself in many places within the Christian context recently that has asked the question, Why are you you still here (in church)? Why are you still a Christian? What made you stay connected to faith and church when many others your age left? Why are you still at church? This question has been answered in the context of ministry to young people, what makes people stay in church and how do those in ministry enable space for those to ask these questions and consider what it means for them to leave or stay? When I was first asked this question my answer was obligation. I stayed in church because I was leading in children's and youth ministry and didn't know how to get out of the commitment. I didn't want to let people down.  So I served, in any and all the ways I could to try and find faith in the leadership opportunities.  Eventually I think the answer became more than obligation. I stayed connected to the church because I was drawn to community and to a plac
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